#Question&Answer: [iDey#8]

Hello. My name is Charis from Kansas, thank you for time. I've been reading your blog…very nice. And thank you the mails; they keep coming at the right time. I have questions, but I have one today…I want to know, what makes people fall in Love?

Thank you Charis from Kansas. Your question is a bit technical, and professional, but for the much I can say, romance is an integral part of emotion and urge in human life. Human body and psychology is designed to attract members of opposite sex. This intelligent design is the key to human relationships. and sexuality which further works as basic element of human continuity on earth through procreation. Usually male and female counterparts feel the buds of romance germinated within at the beginning of adolescence itself. Sexual maturity has no role in bringing romance on ones minds as people may feel romance much before they attain puberty. Romance is a psychological application imprinted into your brain which is stimulated even in the childhood itself. There are several social and psychological aspects behind a person's inclinations to fall in love.

Let's look at some 'causative' agents:

·         Pheromones and Hormones:

Most species are proved to produce certain pheromones and hormones which attract the opposite sex. Though fewer researches are taken place on human relationships, certain pheromones and hormones are believed to play vital role in attracting people to each other and making them fall into relationships. These pheromones are said to be smell-free variants, (as recognized by a psychological process not through a biological way). Oxytocin and vasopressin are the two hormones that promote the emotion of romance in human beings. You might wonder if romance is caused by the presence of hormones and pheromones, then why everybody don't feel the same feelings with all others. The answer is the right combination. A person may have developed likeness to certain combination of hormones only. This is the reason you will fall in love with certain people only.

·         Psychological Aspects:

Love is a psychological element of human relationships, thus it is very difficult to manipulate one's psychology to yield romance in his/her mind. There are certain psychological aspects that may possibly make people fall in love. A feeling of similarity is a major psychological facet that sprouts romance. People who interact for longer period or people who are of the same mind-set may develop romance within themselves. According to psychological theories romance can happen in two ways; compassionate love and passionate love. Compassionate love is originated from mutual understanding, respect and sharing. On the other hand passionate love is based on intense sexual desires, anxiety and affection. Each aspect of love or relationship is fueled by any of these psychological reasons.

·         Physical attraction:

Physical attraction is another reason behind romantic relationships. A normal man or woman is designed to get attracted to the opposite sex at the fulfillment of time. But all the men or women do not find each and every counterpart attracted in the same intensity. They feel some more beautiful or sexy while others less. The reason is again psychological as the likeness of people is formed in the brain according to the aesthetic and sexual images and ideas a person has created in his/her mind over time. The concept of beauty differs from people to people. Some may say that slim is sexy, while other may differ in opinion. As the sayings goes, beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, attractiveness also vary as preferences of people differ.

·         Social reasons:

• Human beings today live in societies where crystal clear laws are defined regarding the human relationships. Society encourages every adult to live in families where they procreate and grow kids as responsible members of society. A child who reaches the age of puberty sees male/female relationships all around and gradually he/she too seeks the company of a counterpart.
• Society, through life examples and media, fuses the idea of male female relationships into a child and he/she feels an urgency of falling in love within him/herself. Society opens more and more chances for girls and boys to interact. This helps them to fall in love easily as things or people most seen become dear to eyes. Today's family atmosphere plays a great role in making people falling in love.
• Kids lack parental care as parents may find no time to spare for kids in their busy schedule of life. Thus the only option of receiving care and love (in this circumstance) may be to find out a male/female partner who can substitute all other 'emptiness'. It is a proven fact that less cared kids at home often fall in relationships earlier than others. This insecurity and unloved feelings often make kids end up with unhealthy (and unreasonable same sex) relationships most times.

When romance is concerned, the social reasons are more visible compared to the psychological or hormonal reasons.

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