#Question&Answer: [iDey#7]

Hello Lekki people, una weldone o. Please I want to know, is it right for me to date a man twice my age? I know a lot of people will feel differently about this, but even though he is older, is he not a person? Someone that needs to be loved? I believe love knows no ages, and if we understand ourselves I don’t see anything wrong in it.

Barry, Lagos.

Hello Barry, thank you for your question, a very good question as a matter of fact. Well, even though you asked and seemed to have answered yourself too, but I may still add a few little things further.

Definitely there’s nothing wrong in dating someone older than you (especially is he’s single please); but in a relationship with such a far disparity in age, it’s most definite that there should be much other things to be considered before leaping into it.

First is the fact that he’s older than you (twice your age as you stated), hence, that means he has at best twice your experience when it comes to issues of life; to me this is a Red flag; because most times ladies that talk about their relationship with much older men (which didn't really work so well) one of the things I deduce from such relationships is the vulnerability of the younger person when the going gets on. It really goes beyond the initial excitements of love which most times make us delusional to taking right decisions, but more because love (in a relationship) can be seen like living in a house even before you start building it! Hence genuine love is proved over time, and a whole lot of factors come into play for you to have a long lasting relationship in true love. Such factors include: trust, commitment, truthfulness, faithfulness (the list goes on)…all these (which is 'post-built' – a long time into the relationship) makes up the true structures of true love over time.

So yea, you’re right. It’s not about age (as long as it’s between two adults anyway) But I will still advise you really work with counsel in such a relationship that has a far disparity in the age difference, why – because of the likelihood of your vulnerability, and or inexperience - which could end up making you unhappy in the relationship over time. Even though the initial profession of love (at the beginning) could be so intense, but real love is post-built, always remember.***This is an observation drawn from many other examples**

Love is key, but love can be mis-defined, mis-judged, or mis-represented if the core values are mis-placed.

We care for your happiness. So keep us posted.

Thank you.

©iDey4LekkiBlog. 

idey4lekki@greathrvesters.com.ng #FREECounsellingCALLTOLLFREE: +2349098849255