#Let'sTalk! [iDey#12]

#TemperamentsAndRelationships (Part 1)

I believe everything lies on our TEMPERAMENTS! 

Why did I say so? It’s like Chemistry; but this time the elements are not fluids and gases, but character traits and behavioral patterns of people and everybody we meet. What is Temperament?  “Temperament is the combination of traits we inherited from our parents. No one knows where it resides, but I think it is somewhere in the mind or emotional centre: often referred to as the heart…”:- (Tim Lahaye’s “Why you act the way you do”).

Now sometimes we tend to forget that the beginning of all our lives rested upon the lives of our parents (at a time):- Like for instance, after the very act of intercourse (which our parents engaged themselves in at a time) the male seed was planted in the female egg, and life came to be, and we all spent the first 9-10 months of our lives in a rented space inside mamma’s belly! Yea! Think of it this way: If you were to sit still in a particularroom for 9 months (and you’re given food and water and everything nice) you MUST have an indelible memory of that room, and also the room will play a major part in the “shaping” of your mind and character which will take place within that 9 months. It is definite that a huge part of mamma, (and pappa too) rubs off upon us at the start of life and its continuity.

Now we have an idea of temperaments, our next question should be: ‘what kinds of temperaments do we have?’ (yea, there are “kinds” because my “observation-in-my-rented-space” can not (and will not) be the same with your own “observation-in-your-rented-space” in mamma’s belly for 9months! **even if we were of the same parents!**

The kinds of temperaments and their make ups are:

1. SANGUINE: That enthusiastic, talkative, always laughing, emotional friend of yours is a Sanguine. Yea, she’s (or he's) usually the loudest, exaggerates in every statement and story, life to (him) or her is a fast train, or worst.
2. CHOLERIC: That (proud) arrogant, bossy, leader-oriented co-worker of yours is a choleric. They’re easy to find, they are always commanding, bossy, even at play time!
3. MELANCHOLY: They’re observing, not talking too much (in a party or get together, they always wear a permanent smile all through, sipping their drink, or chewing gum, no much words, but watching…waiting!) They can be good friends though, good listener’s, and very supportive.
4. PHLEGMATIC: You know that stingy friend, or cousin, or brother of yours, she or he is a Phleg! Phlegmatics are usually self-centred, diplomatic, that slow-poison kind of person. They’re quiet but calculative. The difference between The Melancholy and the Plegmatic is that the Melancholy has a brighter side, while the Phlegmatic has a gloomier side so-to-speak (we will talk about this later in the series)…

But the story doesn’t stop here. It’s even more interesting to know that someone can be made up of 2 or 3 temperaments at the same time. Why? It’s simple; we didn’t come into being by one single entity? No we didn’t. We came into being by (like the illustration in paragraph 2) the collision and coming together of 2 elements: Mum and Dad...so it should be obvious that we will be made up of more than one temperament by simple, and logical arithmetic.

Why are we talking about this thing called temperament anyway? Well, take it or leave it, a lot about it depends on the success of our relationship with people (and most especially our relationship with them we spend a whole length of time with: our spouse, partner, etc).

For example, If a dominant Sanguine marries a dominant Choleric, it is likely that one of the individuals MUST "break" for the other for peaceful (and loving) co-existence to thrive. Why? (or How?) Let’s say Jenny she’s a sanguine (with a subsequent part of Melancholy) but her husband is a dominant choleric (with a subsequent part of a Phlegmatic) their character traits will forever keep clashing, because Jenny would want to spend money (because she’s not a good saver) she will want to enjoy life, and do some lavida loca stuff as a dominant Sanguine would, but Jim her husband (a Chloreric-Phlegmatic) bossy, stingy, selfish, and not too modern Jim, will try as much as he can to change Jenny’s character traits to fit his own, and being the 'boss', he will drive home everything he can muster, to achieve it. This will create an (invisible) battle seen that will thrive till one person succumbs to the other's "will-to-do" of what the other partner wants, or desires. 

When we look at all the variations and coalitions of all temperaments, the circumstances run deep. The analogy spreads to a multitude of other examples. 

We'll shed more light in the next series...

To be continued.

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