#Let's Talk! [iDey#20]

The Evil Called SOCIAL MEDIA:

I know many will be moved by the title of this article. But believe it or not, the Cyber world of social media has really proved to be a dynamic modern day menace, or don't you think so?

I want to start with the most testimonies I have heard or read: (via email, calls, and all what nots). From recent study (that’s I mean, my personal study of social media interactions), I have deduced that (in this 21^{st Century}), social media has formed about 92% of most relationship formations, successes, and or failures. Let me start with the case of a certain Shelby (not her real name); Shelby met a certain dude on a particular date site, (a popular one amongst us all who do social media so well); According to Shelby, she fell in love (head-over-heels) with this fella, and within a fortnight they met in person somewhere in the suburbs of Lasgidi; and before much is said, a presumably radiant relationship blossomed between Shelby and her new found guy. Everything at first seemed cool as it’s ‘posed to be, everything seemed so magnificent until one day he (Shelby’s boyfriend) picked a fight over nothing and before one could say 'cock-doodle-do', the relationship ended as fast as it started. Why did it end so fast? Well, social media has a daemon, and this daemon is the false feelings you may develop immediately everything seem to be so rosy between the two people; and this false feeling at most tend towards the guys, who believe (or feel) that “If I could get her on-line, I still have millions of other options to explore!” . But a times I ask, is it wrong to meet someone on-line? Someday a lady asked me: 'Where do you think one can find solace and rightful standings in meeting someone these days?" I was tempted to say ‘the Internet’, but I remembered Shelby’s story; even at that I still retorted: “The Internet”; and immediately, as if I had said something so disdain, my interviewer quickly lashed out with scare written all over her face “the Internet? Hell no!” And I pretended as if I didn't concur with her deep down my soul, rather I took a defensive stance by saying “Why? What’s wrong with meeting someone on the Internet?” She then told me another tale about a friend of hers (Jenny - not her real name) who met a certain J-money as his name was on the net. According to her, her friend met J-money on another very popular social media site (also a very popular site amongst us who do social media so well), on the site J-money was really full of money, lots of swags and all what blings and all; and according to her friend, he was good looking too.  Jenny, like most vulnerable ladies would, fell in love with J-money within a short while, I mean, what’s there not to like, he was cool, handsome, and full of swags (online swags though),  but Jenny was a bit skeptical. She kept on postponing her meeting J-money in person until after about a year. Within that year, they were "up-in-smoke"; so engrossed with lots of chats, calls, and everything you can ever imagine. Then Jenny finally fell for him, and they met - in person. Their first meeting was at J-money’s house, and after that night, the next day, Jenny was feeling so cool about her new found love, but when she tried hooking up with J-money after that night, he logged off. Logged off as in, he pretended as if he wasn't the same person she had met just a night before. Hey? What’s the matter with you dude? After Jenny tried all means to contact him…his reply to her after much was: “Have you ever seen someone campaigning after winning election?” My goodness! Jenny was heart broken, to bits I would say, and J-money, well he was long gone before you can take two sharp glances back and forth. “Wait”; she asked, "What was all that year long “I love you, I can’t wait to be with you”; lines over the years for?" For just a one night stand? Come on! Well that was how that ended for Jenny and J-money, in just one night.

Then came one of my friends, and his experiences which I witnessed first hand: Johnny Boy (as we call him– yea it’s his real nickname!) Johnny Boy met a lady on the net. And yea, she was a dime piece, a beauty queen; but my dude rarely saw a full picture of her, and just because he was so engrossed about meeting such a beautiful (single) young lady, he was too preoccupied in his fantastic thoughts of oblivion, that he failed to remember that “wait…I haven’t seen her full portrait yet!”. Finally, the d-day came to be, and Johnny-Boy had to meet his new found girlfriend in an eatery. Now he told me about it and me (in my wits – not knowing I was about to trigger-off an IED time bomb), “advised” him (with a pure heart though) to go look this girl up first before ‘jumping into the lake with both legs’. Well J Boy took my clue, and after an espionage exercise by his one man crew, he discovered that the lady was paralytic. Hey. Come on; it’s not like that was a bad stuff, but Johnny Blaze here couldn't take it as a good sign, and in a twinkle of a Mary-go-round, he was on a next bus running away from his new “bride”! Such hilarious but pathetic sight that was. And me being the mastermind behind the whole idea, and not to keep the poor lady waiting, I went in to make the young lady know that Johnny-Boy might not be showing up due to some “unforeseen circumstances”. She of course, didn't fail to notice the expression of surprise on my face, and believe me she was downcast. And that put a dashing crush on the high hopes of her “Happily-ever-after at last!”.

Apart from Johnny-Boy, Jenny and the whole other crew, I had this long email sent to me sometime in April. The dude was such a bragado, telling me how good he has been with meeting girls on the Internet, and his (uncountable) escapades with the ladies on social media. He told me he had different “spirits” on different social media platforms. I was like “Spirit?, what do you mean ‘spirit’”; To him, if he had an issue with his girl in reality, he will go on social media to apologize to her, and most times, he succeeds in his quest to plead his case to his girls. To him, he had a different line (for example) on Facebook.com, and a different personality on lets say Badoo.com, hence if his plea wasn't working on Facebook, he switches over to Badoo and this women always fall for this trick. I was like “Do they actually know that you’re the same person in the different websites?’ And he was like “Yea, sure!” And I said “How were you able to pull it off?” (a bit confused), well his answer was “That’s the spirit I’m talking about!”

Not to just portray only the bad examples, a certain lady told me she’s happily married now with a daughter, and she met her husband on-line. I was quick to ask “What site was it” (now knowing that there were “different spirits for different sites”), she said to me the site was “dash, dash, dash” (name withheld). Apart from this good example, from many correspondences I have received (and they are so many) a lot of people are meeting on-line today, and its working. But it’s like a ratio of 1:5 (that’s 1 out of 5 cases) make it to a true lasting relationship, and finally develop into a tangible and reasonable affair.

In my bid to crack the code; the code that Social Media is not that bad, I was in a group discussion sometime with some ladies, and I said “Why is it wrong to meet someone on-line?” A lot of instances were stated about people that meet wrong people, fake people, pretenders, and all what not on-line. Then I said “What’s the difference?” You meet someone in a bus, in a train, on the ATM cue, in Church, or at KFC, wherever; what’s the difference with these and meeting someone on-line? The first answer I got (with a scream) by one of the ladies was: “Yes! You will at least know you’re meeting someone real, that's if you meet him (or her) in a real environment!”. Come on! I was wondering, the person you’re chatting with is he or she not a human being! So what do you mean by "a real human being?" I was aggressively attacked by some various instances that occurred somewhere, or somehow, and I was succumbed to concur just because of that mare fact (especially for the guys) that makes them feel ‘Super-human’ by thinking they can meet and ‘conquer’ any lady on the net. This simple but devastating fact churns the Internet into a den of ‘players’, so to speak. But that’s in a ratio of 1:5. There can be a 1 case of a true good guy who really is in search for a true lady to date and probably go to infinity and beyond.

But, the great question remains “How do I avoid the 4 bad guys out there looking for whom to devour?” My advice, you can meet anyone anywhere, even in the dream! (Yes, I had a lady once tell me: “he walked up to me, telling me he dreamt I was his wife!”)

Well, no matter where you guys meet, just follow the simple rules…Keep the prize until the competition is over!

I guess you know what I mean ladies.

#King.


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