Question&Answer: [iDey#10]
18+
Hello LEKKI, do you believe
in sex before marriage?
Agnes, Alpha
Beach
Thank you Agnes for your
question. I for one, I disregard the concept of copulation before marriage.
Yes. Though most people have a negative (or stereotyped) view about sex before marriage. Everyone would vote a “No” to sex before marriage. But How many of our “No” voters actually stand by the reality of the facts. Recently I was in a discussion with about 4 notable women, whom I had
this discussion about marriage and sex, and to my utmost surprise, 3 out of the
4 ladies had a very different belief about sex before marriage. And I will share:
In my discussion with the
women, one of them was of the opinion that she may not want to go ‘totally’ without
sex before her wedding, and I was like “Why?" And what do you mean by: "...not want to go 'totally
without'…” According to her, she had this story about a friend (a co-worker) who maintained the virtue of no sex before marriage, but encountered a very unfortunate ordeal, which was that she (her
co-worker) got married and found out that her husband was almost impotent as at
their marriage. Her friend’s husband was not so kind enough to be sincere with
his wife prior to their wedding by telling her the truth and the whole truth about
his health issues; rather he kept it secret until it was “late”. The second
point was raised by my second interviewee who said she will most definitely NOT
marry without at least trying it once with her to be husband. And I was like “Why
the once?” And just like point one, for her, she wouldn't want to face any ‘unpleasant
surprises’ after the marriage. Point three was most striking, according to her, it
will be a risk to marry someone without knowing if he or she is sexually fit
for you or not (and there are a lot of details to this which I may not pen down at the moment). According to my third pointer, marriage is a life long (or at least, a very long)
engagement, and if such a length of an engagement is hung on a balance of ‘luck’, it’s too risky. I was almost loosing my cool (for I never had the intent that
most people (especially ladies) would have such a concept about such a notion), when the last
pointer took it up from a religious perspective (and that was a bit of a relief!). According to her, sex is meant
for (and only for) the married. A lot of questions were raised about the authentication
of this reasoning; but mostly were based on religious (and Christian) beliefs….A
counter point was raised that ‘no sex before marriage’ may not be a guarantee to
a successful married life; that a marriage can be unsuccessful even though the
partners never had sex before they got married.
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