Question&Answer: [iDey#11]
Hello MR. LEKKI, I keep reading your blog
like a dedicated student, but I keep seeing your likeness is tended to the ladies.
Any room for the men? It’s as if you don’t like the men at all**Lolz* Well, I
guess we men, we don’t have relationship issues? Of course we do! Like I have
this question, I read one of your blogs, after reading it I said to myself: “what if a man
is able to have many wives, and still seem to love, and take care of them all
adequately?” My father was a polygamist. He had about 3 wives; and he actually
didn’t experience the bad issues most polygamists have. He actually took care
of his 3 wives appropriately: He had 3 separate houses for his wives, which the
wives lived-in with their children. He really did live a happy life, and he
died at an old age of about 85, and a happy man indeed. But these days the rate
at which polygamy is condemned, I wonder why?
Sometimes I think
polygamy may solve a lot of problems like the issues of women out there who are
really seeking marriage. Like for instance, if every man was allowed to marry
as many wives as he would wish, I think (and most men think) this will reduce
the number of unmarried women out there. I had this argument with some of my
blokes the other day, that why’s it that the Church supports same-sex marriage,
but condemns polygamy? I think this is a mismatch of judgment, because we all
know that same-sex marriage (gay marriage) is wrong, very wrong; but we can
even cite one or more cases of polygamy marriages in the Bible, as a matter of
fact, the Nation Israel was founded on a polygamous marriage (Yes, Jacob
married 4 wives), and apart from Jacob, we also have other Biblical great men
like David, Abraham, Solomon, to mention but a few, who were all polygamists,
yet you can’t see one case (I mean ONE single case) of same-sex marriage
appearing (or stated) in the Bible. Come on! Let’s tell ourselves the truth, if
Bible facts have cases of polygamous marriages, and not any case of same-sex
marriage, how come the Church approves of same-sex marriage, and yet condemn
polygamy?
I am a
Christian, and I’m married to one wife (and I love my wife dearly), but in
recent times I have been pushed to the decision of taking another wife because
my wife has not been able to conceive a child after our 8 long years of
marriage. I spoke to my Christian leader about this, and he discredited the
idea, condemning every bit of the idea (saying: “Polygamy is wrong” and all
that…). I was confused because, I mean, I have a genuine reason to take a
second wife, and I don’t think it is completely wrong (more wrong) than
same-sex marriage, YET, it is condemned so bitterly.
So I want to
know, which is worse: Polygamy, or same-sex marriage.
Thank you Mr.
Jude. Your question is actually one dynamic question I have come across for
quite a long time. The first thing I would say is that, The Church DOES NOT
(and will NEVER) support same-sex marriage. I don’t know where you got your
details from. Though I know you may have your citations from some Western
cultures (or even European) societies which may approve of gay marriage, but The
Church does not, and it will never approve of it.
Now I do not
condemn polygamy. The Bible condemns it, not me. And I did not write The Bible. The Bible specifically makes it clear that a man should marry ONE wife. This
can be cited in 1 Timothy 3:12, 1 Timothy 5: 9, and Titus 1:6, to mention but a
few Bible citations that establishes the fact that a Christian (as you’ve
agreed to be) should live by. Now about your references of Biblical men who
married more than one wife, well that was back then in the very olden days, and
their culture supported it adequately. But today, as a Christian, we all need
to walk by rules, parameters, and core tenets which are outlined to keep us in
check as a society of upright norms; and these norms work together to keep us
in check as a community of God fearing individuals who seek to live our lives
according to what the Bible has stated; unless there will be a total breakdown
of Christian norms.
But, not to
look at the issue from a religious (or Christian perspective), there are other
certain issues that make polygamy inadvisable. Excluding the facts about your
dad (who had a successful polygamous life); it is not actually the case on a
wide range. This includes issues about family ties, relationship ties between
family members, etc. There are several cases of polygamous marriages that had a
regressive impact on those involved (including the husband, wives and children)
in a most case of 1:5 only one case of polygamy (out of 5) will be stated as
successful. Hence, the challenges of polygamy outweigh the prospects of success,
especially in a modern society in which we live in today. And the issue you
stated about not having a child yet in your present marriage may not be solved
by a second marriage. It could be health issues, which a second marriage could
experience once challenge again.
There’re a
lot of things to be talked about which I could suggest you get in touch with us
privately @: idey4lekki@greatharvesters.com.ng
Thank You.
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