@KennyFranklin: [iDey#3]
WHY GOOD GIRLS
MARRY WRONG:
@KennyFranklin
wrote:
Driving home to
LEKKI last night, I saw a BILLBOARD that read: WHY DO GOOD GIRLS MARRY WRONG? Now
I had about 10 Kilometers to hit before I got home, so all through the rest of
my journey, I was really thinking: “But hey, wait! Why do good girls
marry wrong?”
Now come on! Let’s
look at it squarely would we? Why do “good girls” marry wrong? First of all, I
think we should do a tit-bit-dissection here: Who is a “GOOD GIRL”? And what
does it really mean for a ‘good girl’ to marry wrong? Well, everyone’s POV
(point of view) definition of a good girl would (most definitely) be: A good
girl is a lady who is well trained, well behaved, educated, poised, having good etiquette, and well composed (probably someone who has not lived the “LA VI DA
LOCA” kind of life) all through to the point where she now wishes to get
married. Well no matter the POV, the point we should be more concerned about should be the: “Why”, and
not the: “Who"; "Why do ladies (whom have made themselves ready for the ‘I dos’,
why should she spend her lifetime, grooming and getting well trained for the
D-Day-Wedding-Day, only to end up in the hands of a crooked, wayward, cheating,
bullish, un-romantic, non-the less brother of some kind?" Why? Why? Why?
Now I was lost in
this thought, thinking about the probabilities of such mismatch as these, when
it came to mind about some experiences (I have had: either heard, or been through,
or observed in some way - such occurrences - and most being ladies I knew or
had to counsel in some way in time past); And by the time I went through all these
assessments, it was rather easy to know why "GOOD GIRLS marry WRONG!”
Here are some instances…(names
and identities have been changed for PRIVACY):
1. CHRISTABEL: CHRISTABEL a very beautiful fair skinned young lady I
used to know from Junior-High, she most
definitely is a good judgment of a “Good-Girl”. She is from a good home, she
got everything she wanted: from a good up bringing, a good education, and to
all the necessary connections required to get well established post-College
(University). But, time and time again, CHRISTABEL had experienced a collection
of failed relationships. At a point she confided in me by letting me know about
her 4th “important relationship” which she didn’t want it to go
wrong again! When she called me up sometime in 2014, talking about her man and
the fact that they have been together for most 5 years now since 2009, and yet
no signs of an engagement ring? I had a few questions, and the following ensued:
ME: How long have
you two been dating?
Christabel: About
5…years?
ME: Have you guys
been leaving together?
Christabel: Yea…
ME: Whose house,
your house, or his house?
Christabel: Ummm..(paused a bit)…it’s my house.
ME: For about how
long?
Christabel: About
ummm…3 years.
ME: Has he met
your parents yet?
Christabel: No.
ME: Why? You said
5 years…?
Christabel: Hmmmm…we
work most of the times, so we haven’t had much time to travel back home.
ME: Do you believe
he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you…considering everything
you’ve just told me......?
Christabel:
***silent***
2. TESSY:
Now TESSY was a colleague of mine, she
was a very good looking lady. Very pretty; She too is from a good home, good
parents, good upbringing, good education, etc. And she too came up close to the
things of religion (that’s to say: church things, singing-in-church, being in church
everyday, kinna thing), but TESSY was having a hard time too with a “Christian brother”
whom she’s anticipated would pop the question someday – but he hasn’t! One day
I was chatting with Tes, and ---
ME: When will the
wedding bells ring Tes, I’ve been hoping to hear the chimes...
Tes: **sad faced**
Well, I hope soon…
ME: Soon? How long
have you been dating this dude of yours?
Tes: We been
together for like 2 years now…
ME: Okay…and how
close is the relationship…
Tes: Very close, I
mean, my Pastor knows we are together, my mum knows…yea we are really close.
ME: Oh your pastor
huh? Nice…who is this brother please?
Tes: He’s a
brother from church.
ME: Oh from church…niiice.
So I think all is well then?
Tes: All is not
well, Kenny! He hasn’t proposed to me yet! I’m getting frantic!!!
ME: Hmmm…I have
one question…I hope you don’t mind if I ask…
Tes; What? Ask…
ME: Are you guys
sleeping together…as in…sex???
Tes: ***silent***
3. NANCY : Then there was NANCY ,
Nancy is someone
at first glance you would feel she’s a “LAGOS GIRL”. But deep down Nancy , she has
principles, she believes in true standards and not just flinching around with
no or little standards. But Nancy
was having issues with her love life, she was in a relationship, yea – but she
believed that her man was “playing” on her…so she came to me ----
ME: So why do you think he’s cheating on you?
ME: Oh you guys
leave together?
ME: Not that I
said so…ummm, how did you guys meet?
ME: Okay, Dave?
That’s his name? How did you meet Dave?
ME: His ex?
ME: Hmmm…
ME: Do you think
you’re the only lady in Dave’s life....
ME: So who’s the lucky guy now in your life….
Yvonne:
**smiling** He works in (**so so Oil company**name withheld*).
ME: That’s great -
happy for you…is he the one you’re waiting for?
Yvonne: Yea.
ME: So, for how
long have you guys been together?
Yvonne: Hmmm,
about 3…years now.
ME: Hmmm. And what
do you think…is he going the whole length?
Yvonne: What do
you mean “the whole length”?
ME: Come on, you
know what I mean…engagement…marriage?
Yvonne: Well,
maybe. We are currently having issues….after I lost his child?
ME: Lost his
child?
Yvonne: Yea…I was
pregnant for him.
ME: Wow, what
happened?
Yvonne: I got
pregnant, but he was very mad at me, and said I should abort it…and I did…
ME: Egads!
Yvonne: Yea…
ME: Hmmm…so do you
think…he would still want to tie the knot with you? Considering all you have
been through…aborting his child???
Yvonne:
***silent***
5. JOY: Last but not least is JOY. JOY’s story really made me draw a line that –
yea, most people (ladies especially) have a hard time in the early hours of
marriage – because of HOW THE RELATIONSHIP STARTED OFF - Joy is a cool and gentle (and good looking
too) young lady back in our College days. I mean we were course mates and
all, and we used to see…occasionally. But recently I ran into JOY in a bank
someday, she had a beautiful kid with her, and so on, and we got talking:
ME: Hello Joy,
wow, good to see you. Lovely Baby-girl you got there…
Joy: Yea, Ken, thank
you, and good to see you too.
ME: So what’s happening
how’s the family, how’s ‘Oga?
Joy: ***silent***
ME: **whisper* I
hope he’s okay?
Joy: We are no
more together.
ME: What?
Joy: Yea.
ME: C’mon! What
happened?
Joy: We are separated…
ME: What!?
Joy: Yes…
ME: Is anything
the matter???
Joy: ***silent***
ME: **whisper** I
hope it’s not your husband, did he do anything wrong?
Joy: No it’s not
him…
ME: How? What
then?
Joy: It’s his
mother...my-mother-in law.
ME: What? What did
she do?
Joy: She said I
should leave…that after 6 years of our marriage…I can’t bare a son.
ME: C’mon! What???
Why??
Joy: ***silent***
ME: Is it
something I can talk to someone? Can I talk to your husband?
Joy: No…it’s not
him…it’s his mother…she really…really hates me!
ME: ***silent***
Joy: Yes.
ME: ummm….but…but…
Joy: But what…
ME: Did you know
she was like this before you both got married…I mean, did you know she didn’t like
you before you both got married…..?
Joy: ***silent***
To be continued....
#iDey4LekkiBlog #KennyFranklin
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